do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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