you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
