White coat. Heels.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
