I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
