That's intense
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
