idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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