So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize