party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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