She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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