some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
