You just made me feel so damn special
I need help removing her.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
