Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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