shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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