i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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