well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize