look no pants
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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