Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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