I hate your face
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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