i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize