We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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