I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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