i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
