Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
