hotel room ftw
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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