At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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