Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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