he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
