We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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