i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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