True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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