True but thats because hes a fetus.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
my poor anus
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize