he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
