Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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