Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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