There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
