..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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