I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
