...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
