It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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