My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
