Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would fuck him just for his dog
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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