I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
