oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize