please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..