just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
