i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
