you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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