Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
