I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
