dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
