I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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