I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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