She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
