His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
